I don’t call my wife my ministry partner simply because it’s my preference.
Marriage is the second-most significant decision in our lives. That’s why we are ought to carefully think about choosing a lifetime partner in life. It is either we would experience heaven or hell on earth for the rest of our lives if we make a mistake. However, I noticed that most people consider their marriage as God doing match-making for them. God has created each one of us uniquely and called us according to His own purpose for His glory.
Having this kind of mindset that God made a love story in heaven and just simply assign “who is for who?” like a puzzle is not so like His thing. While it may sound good and spiritual to say that a lifetime partner is a ministry partner, I opted not to do that with my wife. Here’s why:
All Christians are my Ministry Partner
If everything is special, then nothing is special.
All Bible-believing believers are called to the Great Commission of our Great Master — our Lord Christ. Meaning, we are all cadets under our Great Commander. There is no point in me marrying someone just to have a ministry partner. It is already given that I would marry a believer (if I am an obedient Christian). I have the whole Church of God anywhere across the globe as a partner.
In choosing a lifetime partner in life, you’ve got to use a lot of brain cells. That’s why the brain was positioned above the heart so that we could rationally make sound choices while involving our emotions and will. I am pretty sure that my adolescent hormones have already lapsed which always told me that “I can’t help falling in love”. That is the reason why choosing a lifetime partner is recommended when we are in our twenties and up where our frontal lobe has fully matured.
Nonetheless, my wife would be considered my ministry partner in the sense I married a believer. But not because I am a minister that needs to be completed by another person. My wife would probably be more than just a ministry partner but my life companion. We are both complete in Christ individually before we got married. We are already ministry partners even before we get to know each other. Yet, our marriage is a cherry-on-top that we can live together in this journey called life.
I don’t OVERSPIRITUALIZE
My life is not my ministry. I am dearly loved and cherished by my Heavenly Father just because of who I am. That’s why I do my best to excel in ministry because I can’t help myself to give my best shot to the One who gave His best [only Son] for me. I view my life [being] as much more valuable than my ministry [doing].
You bet, the same goes for my partner in life. I do understand that there are people who try to find their significance through their ministry (if you are one of them, go get some counseling). However, we are already significant as image-bearers of God. So you see, my wife is significant, whether she does an excellent ministry or not. I chose to love her as Christ demonstrated His love for me. No if’s. No ‘but’s. No ‘shoulds’
If my wife will ever cease to do an excellent ministry due to some physical or mental limitations at some point in time. I would still continue to love her. Not because of the marriage vows. But because she is the one the Lord has given me to love and cherish for the rest of my life.
My Wife is NOT for UTILITARIAN Purposes
The moment I saw her, I knew I like her to be with me for the rest of my life. Thank God, my wish was granted. It is not because of her beauty or intellect alone, but because I have chosen to love her out of my own volition. It has been a great addition that I have my wife as my partner in life.
Many pastors or church ministers like to call their wives “a ministry partner” because they can do so-and-so. Don’t get me wrong, I also admit that as a minister, skills and character should be a thing to consider in having the love of your life. The choosing part is BEFORE MARRYING a person, not AFTER getting married. I just don’t get it that why do they have to emphasize that a wife is a great ministry partner.
My Marriage is Not a Union of Purpose
Marriage is not fundamentally the linking of arms in the pursuit of an agreed-upon vocation.John Piper
It just so happened that I and my wife are Bible teachers at a Christian school. Furthermore, I think we are both blessed that we have been called by God early on in our lives that we were certain already of what our lives would potentially look like. The word potentially is very vital since no one can predict the future, but we do know the One who holds tomorrow. She studied in a bible college with a degree in Christian education, whereas I used to be numb-nut during that time.
If God has willed that we would do things differently at some point in time, we would just gladly submit. After all, if God has so graciously united us together, then He will surely see us through along our journey.
Calling my wife as a life partner is just a matter of my preferences. I view marriage that it is not a matter of compatibility but a matter of complementarity. We praise God that He has called us individually — all the more as a family
P.S. This should have been a birthday appreciation post for my wife. Happy birthday my precious priceless piece.